Maybe, just maybe, we are asking too much of ourselves. It seems easy to just let it come out of your mouth, but when it comes to the doing, it's more difficult than it seems. I'm not saying it's impossible to achieve and tick off those things on the bucket list but i think maybe we should focus on the small and simpler things before we move to the bigger picture. Here are some things you might want to swap your current resolutions with:
1. Finding Yourself
It does seem kinda lame but this is the most important thing you'll want to accomplish. In our current society, everybody is working their asses off to make as much money as they can so they can 'prove' to others that you know, they made it. But did they really make it? Just being able to pay off bills and saving money to most people is all they need, but to me, i don't call that making it, i call it just surviving. They aren't 'living', they are like robots going to work, doing the same job over and over again. They are trapped in the same position doing something they may despise. It really saddens me to see that little fire burning inside of them slowly going out day by day. Eventually when the fire burns out, they lose satisfaction, contentedness and their will to live. Their existence then becomes questionable.
Majority of us are still in our teens so that means we have time on our side right? That's right and also wrong. The clock is always ticking and it will eventually run out. Since we are still young, we need to find the things that make us feel alive and make us worth living for. Everybody has something that makes the fire in us burn brighter, and most of us are yet to find it. It could be anything, from finding a partner to cooking, sports, writing stories, helping others, teaching, fixing and building things, makeup, recycling, fishing, etc. It really comes down to what you are passionate about.
They say once you find your passion, your future seems clear and your existence is no longer a big question mark. It's like being on top of the world, and enjoying the view. You gain satisfaction and overall, you are just full of jubilancy. I quote this because personally, i have yet to find that passion. I think this is the most case of students just graduating because our whole entire lives, we were told what to do and what not to do. Like roads, our paths were already laid out for us. We were supposed to go to school, engage in some activities and maybe help out a bit at home. And that was it. But by finishing high school, we reach the end of our laid paths and suddenly our futures are placed back into our hands. Just a few months ago, i still had to ask for permission to go to the toilet and now you expect me to know what to do with my life and be able to feed myself? All i can ask is, how?
Don't feel useless if you don't know what to do or what you like to do because i feel the same. We weren't exposed to different things when we were younger because we just had to memorise a few hundred pages and that was that. Education systems do have a play in this. The period after graduating and starting college, is the time to just go for it. Try everything. Work in cafes, offices, supermarkets, schools, centres, clinics, pharmacies, petrol stations, saloons, and the list goes on. You'll always learn something. Don't be afraid to start from the bottom because everybody needs to start somewhere, right? And maybe from there, you'll be one step closer to you finding your passion. Find out what you like and what you don't like; this way you'll know what courses you want to take for the job you want. My teacher told me to always work backwards. Where do you see yourself in ten, twenty years? Vision yourself and then only decide what course you want to take. If you want it, you gotta work for it.
2. Don't Let Your Happiness Depend On Someone Else
How many times has your friend told you she/he can't live without someone? I'm not afraid to admit i am that very friend. I find it incredibly hard to imagine my life without the someone i love. I know it won't be the end of the world, but i feel like it would be. The very thought of it just devours my happiness. I know i shouldn't let someone else define my happiness but what can i do?
Finding someone to be there for you and to love you the way you are is not wrong, but make sure to not lose yourself by loving them. You CAN live without them, but you choose not to. As i said previously, everything is a choice. I once read a quote on twitter and i think it's something to live by: I don't want you to save me, i want you to stand by me while i save myself'.
What happens when the person who holds your happiness leaves? You are left alone, with nothing. You'll find it hard to pick yourself up again and continuing with your life. This will really be the end of your world. For those who have experienced or is experiencing this, i know how it feels and you are not alone. Don't ever be afraid to ask for help from your friends and family, or even strangers online. In your darkest days, will you only know who is truly by your side. Continuing with life may seem hard but hey, no one said it was easy right?
3. Go To New Places/ Meet New People
By meeting new people and going to new places, it will really open your eyes. It could just be a trip to a town, or going to a foreign supermarket or even just going to a law firm! Just observe the place and what people are doing there. I went to a high-end Japanese Supermarket in central KL once and i never know a tomato could cost me RM50, no kidding. I mean like, do people actually buy this stuff? My eyes TOTALLY opened about how some people live their lives by eating posh tomatoes. The employees there were wearing traditional Japanese outfits and i learnt this was part of the Japanese culture.
I also went to a small law firm and trust me, it was not a pleasant sight. You could see files piling up on desks, chairs and cabinets were packed until i felt pity for them. The lawyers working there were not glamorous and opulent like how movies and dramas portrayed them to be. That moment i knew, to not judge a book by its cover. You only see what they chose to show you. You never saw how hard they worked to get that licence or to get where they are today.
From this, you learn a little bit about everything and sometimes it can teach you life lessons. Maybe, you will learn how to become a better you.
4. Change Your Perspectives
Maybe you could never accomplish your resolutions because of the way you saw the world. Ask your friends and family and absorb what they honestly think about about you. If it's mostly negative, it's time to change. Narcissism, pessimism, supremacism may be what's trapping you in not moving forward. If you think you are better than everyone, i'm here to say you are not. CHANGE. If you think you are worth less than everybody else, i'm not afraid to say, we are not vegetables in a market and we do not have a value. CHANGE. If you think the colour of someone's skin defines them, you need some education. CHANGE.
Think of everyone is on a mission. Different individual missions to different individual destinations. We are all fighting our own battles and have our own shit to deal with. So why do you compare yourself with them in the first place? Why do you make it harder for yourself and others? Instead, lend them a helping hand when they are at their low, and praise them at their high. Everybody needs support even if it's just a tiny bit.
To add on, don't bring others down so you can step on their confidence and self esteem to raise yourself. People aren't going to be envious of you so get that stupid mindset out of your mind. What goes up, must always come down (reference to Sir Isaac Newton and also Lighters by Bad Meets Evil). If you want to make the world a better place, start with yourself.
Don't forget to love yourself and to show love to others. The world needs more love, not war.
I hope 2017 will be a much more tolerable year. Here's to us!
I hope 2017 will be a much more tolerable year. Here's to us!
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