Resurrection

Do you get those weird random ideas in the middle of the day where you just casually stare at an object and BAM a totally unrelated idea pops into your head? Well, the resurrection of this blog was one of them. Just yesterday, i was thinking about something and i just had this tiny little bit of inspiration to write and write and write. I don't know why i gave this blog up about 3 years ago. I mean, there could be a lot of contributions to this blog's death like maybe i was too bored of writing, i had no time (the amount of homework was killing me) or i just lost the motivation to. Everybody loses motivation somehow. It's like if you had to do the same monotonous thing everyday, surely you will slack and find something else to spark inspiration.

A lot has happened in this few years and i guess i should have continued writing so that i could have something to look back now but no regrets. Recently, these 2 years i have had a so called 'no life' life where all i did was go to school, come back, do my homework, study and repeat. I was and am still not a big fan of dramas or going out (well at least i'm trying now) so i guess my lifestyle was a choice. To sum it up, it was kinda enjoying for me because just the thought of chillaxing at home and just being able to be myself was just so soothing. That naive young me would have never imagined what was coming at her in 2016.

2016 was like a rollercoaster ride except there were no seat belts, no stop buttons, no insurance and it was on fire. It was an ultimate mess. Everything came too quickly at once and that was the moment i realised i was in deep shit. It was so deep, i almost broke down a few times. The exhaustion was mental, physical and emotional. And then life decided this wasn't enough and added a few piles of stress, some sprinkles of issues and truck loads of sadness. I was lost and had no clear direction. Bits and pieces of me began breaking and there was no glue strong enough to stick them back together.I was on the verge of my worst break down a few days before my exams and i guess you could say my world almost ended at that very moment. I had lost motivation to do anything and i couldn't focus. I didn't know what to do.  Fortunate enough, i barely made it out alive but i'm glad i did. I am grateful for the people who took the effort to try to stick my pieces back together and those who stood by me at my worst. I learnt a lesson in 2016, it was that at your worst moment, there will always be people there for you even if you are unaware.They're are like stars, you don't always see them, but they are always there.

I don't wish for anything in 2017 because wishing seems useless because i believe everyone carries their own future. Everything is a choice and the choices you make will lead you to wherever you are destined. I want to find myself and find out what i truly like to do because you know i did not have a past life. To anyone who is reading this, have faith and courage.