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Monday 27 February 2017

The Four Letter Word, Love - Self Love

What is love? Love is a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes that ranges from interpersonal affection to pleasure. It can refer to an emotion of a strong attraction and personal attachment (according to Wikipedia). It's a common misconception that love is only for girlfriends and boyfriends but don't forget love can also be for family, friends, pets and most importantly, for yourself. I think most people find it hard to love because they often put others first, before themselves. How can we repair others while we, ourselves, are still broken?

Depending on others for happiness and comfort is often satisfying but remember, not everyone stays. You are the patient, and love is your drug, When the drug runs out, what happens then? Do you seek a new drug to replace the old one? Do you give up? Everyone has a different solution but for me, i believe your drug should be self-love. Only you know how much it hurts and only you can repair your wounds. Putting your happiness in the hands of others is dangerous because who knows, it may be too much of a burden and eventually they'll drop it.

 It may seem difficult to love yourself because you have so many flaws that only you can see and you despise every bit of yourself. Every time you pass by your mirror, you find a new flaw and every time you talk to someone, you mentally collapse. I know how it feels, to feel so alone when there are so many people around you. I know how it feels to be afraid to show your true self because you are afraid that they may leave. You are not alone. It's hard accepting the things you hate the most about yourself but you have to try. What matters is your self-esteem and confidence. You have to accept this is who you are and you have to think positively. Don't be so harsh on yourself.

It's okay if you don't have a slim body and it's okay if you're not good at something. Everybody is different so why are we creating a universal standard that is unreachable?


The first step to loving yourself, is to accept who you are as a person. There are some things that can't be physically changed no matter how hard you try. Why not save your time and just leave it be? Who said it is not okay to have a tummy or long limbs or being short or having thick eyebrows or having single eyelids? The right people will love you just the way you are because you show them how to love you as you. The more you hate your flaws, the more you teach others that it is okay to point out your flaws and hate them. 

I know it's harder accepting your mental flaws but nothing is impossible. You may have a short temper or you may overthink about everything, but these things can be changed. It'll take time, even Disneyland wasn't built in a day. You've gotta let go and stop stressing yourself. Always take a few moments to breathe and think, 'is this healthy for my mind?', 'Is being angry at a small thing worth it?' For every minute you are angry, you lose a minute of happiness. Old habits die hard. Overthinking is so natural that every time you do something, you just think about it over and over again (aka me). You think, 'what if i didn't make this decision, would it change anything?', 'they must be laughing at what i did'. Everybody has their moments and these are the moments you need to think, you already made your decision so be it and move on. The more you overthink, the more doubts you'll have. In Mandarin they often say, '何必呢?', meaning 'what is the point?' Do you gain anything from the doubts?  You don't. 

You'll realise that once you start accepting who you are, you are much happier. Life is short, so why not live to the fullest? Do what makes you happy because no one can stop you. The only limit is yourself. 

It's easier said than done, but once you start loving yourself, love may find its way to you. The right ones will stay even seeing your worst side because they love you for who you are and not who you pretend to be. Don't be afraid to show them who you truly are, because the right ones won't run away but instead, take your hand and go on your journey, together. You don't need them to save you, you need to them to be by your side while you save yourself. 

It's a big world out there, the worst thing we could do is destroy each other by destroying love. Love yourself, love others, and you'll be loved.

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